This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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