guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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