Screwed.edu
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
