i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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