My hair reeks of homosexuality.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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