I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
