dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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