So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
