I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. š
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
His wife found the thong I āforgotā in his glovebox
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