can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
porn star boner night. come get it.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's shark week go big or go home
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
