Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
