margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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