if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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