I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
