There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
