he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
this is an emotional support booty call
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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