next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
