Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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