Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
