He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
