Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
