the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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