If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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