It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
