Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
