mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize