i was born a porn star she said
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
