I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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