my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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