ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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