I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
