Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
