Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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