You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
