Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
