well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
