Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's blow job season.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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