I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize