How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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