Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
