Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
