I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Come see our sink grown plant.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
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