He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
