I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
