I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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