Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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