Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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