this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
