don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
