Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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