There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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