So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I wish there were birth control emojis
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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