Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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