I'm drive I can fine osifer
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
