i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize