is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
