i will never coherently bang her
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
