yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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