I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize