I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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